The Greatest Family in Sports

If that's not a sports family, I don't know what is.

There are a lot of families who have spent their lives in the eye of the sports public.  The Manning’s are arguably the most famous family in sports, the Staal brothers should be thrown into the mix for the most Canadian, and I think the Molina’s might actually be my favorite sports family.  But the most successful sports family is undoubtedly the Kardashian’s.  Although no Kardashian by blood has ever done anything of notice in the sports community, their tentacles (or husbands/boyfriends) seem to touch almost every sport you can think of.  The Kardashian’s certainly put the love in LoveBoatSports and in honor of their prominent role in American history, let’s take a closer look at the family.

            Robert Kardashian, father of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloé, helped defend O.J. Simpson in court and read O.J. Simpson’s suicide letter to the media at a press conference. Robert Kardashian and Kris Kardashian divorced in 1990 after 12 years of marriage.  Sadly, Robert passed away in 2003 after his body finally gave way to Esophageal cancer.  The Kardashian family would find it’s way back into the sports world soon enough.

            In the 1976 Olympics Bruce Jenner won back the gold medal in the decathlon from the Soviet Union, acquiring national fame.  It was obvious Jenner had made it as an athlete when he was featured on the hallowed box of Wheaties cereal.  Jenner then disappeared from the Olympic sports world, trading his success in for the life of a struggling actor and a semi-successful career as a racecar driver.  After aimlessly wandering the world looking for resolve, Bruce Jenner finally found his purpose when he married Kris Jenner (formerly Kris Kardashian) in 1991.

            Of all the people who are famous for being famous, Kim Kardashian is the famousest for being the famousest.  Born in 1980, Kim Kardashian first gained fame when a sextape was released featuring her and Ray J.  After moving on from the Ray J fiasco, Kim began to date Reggie Bush who was at the time a running back for the New Orleans Saints.  Reggie Bush is the most famous athlete Kim has dated and the only one to win a professional championship in his respective sport.  After Reggie and Kim split she was on to the next footballer this time in Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin.  Austin is probably the most talented athlete Kim has dated, but we live in a world where championship rings are more important than talent, so Austin will need to win a Super Bowl or two if he wants to pass Reggie Bush on Kim’s hit list.  Finally there is Kris Humphries, the New Jersey Nets forward and short-lived husband of Kim Kardashian.  Their recent marriage and subsequent divorce sparked a Twitter uproar creating the highly comical hashtag #thingslongerthankimsmarriage.  Personal favorites: Amber Rose’s hair, the time it took to Find Nemo, and Greg Oden’s penis.  Recently Kris has stated that he wants to annul the marriage, unfortunately for him he will never be able to annul it from our memory.  Kris has also complained about Kim using the marriage as an attention grab to which I say… obviously.  Kim’s sister, Khloé, has had better luck in her relationships as of late.

            In September of 2009, Khloé Kardashian married Lamar Odom and officially became Khloé Kardashian Odom.  Khloé and Lamar are still going strong and were even voted the Happiest Celeb Couple of 2011 by CelebBuzz!  So congrats to them.  Over the years, Lamar has received heckles on heckles peaking in 2010 when Celtics fans passed out 5,000 masks of Khloé to get in Lamar’s head.  This year, the inevitable encounter between Odom and Humphries when their teams face off will hopefully be delectably uncomfortable.  Despite opposing fans taunts, Lamar has amassed himself two NBA championship rings and most recently a Sixth man of the year award.

            While Odom is nearing the tail end of his career, we can only hope the Kardashian’s are not. How many more athletes will Kim date before she settles down for good?  How many more championships her exes will win?  Does it really matter? The Kardashian’s have successfully infiltrated the sports world and planted themselves atop it.  Screw the Williams’ sisters, the Kardashian’s are way kooler! 

Thanks @leahlillian.