Why I hated Super Bowl XLVI

Courtesy of MPR News.

In general, I don't like the Super Bowl. As a guy who watches every televised game throughout the season, I see this last game as something much bigger than, but consequently less of, just a game. The Super Bowl has become a greater cultural and social event than a sporting one.



Friends gather at each other's houses for the big event, but many do so in anticipation of catching up and the free food, and of course, the commercials. And that's totally fine. Not all of us are football fans. What I don't like is when people that aren't football fans pretend to be for a day. You know who I'm talking about. A guy walks up to you wearing a way-too-big borrowed jersey and starts rattling off stats on a guy he just googled. Or a whole group erupts in profanities when the team they're "rooting for", though they don't know the head coach's name, gets scored on. My instance of this last night came when one of the other boys in my dormitory began running up and down the hall after the Giants' go-ahead touchdown, shrieking "HE'S GOING FOR TWO!" Of course they're going for two. It's simple math. And what's more, whether they make it or not doesn't really matter. Either way, an ensuing Patriots field goal wouldn't be enough, and a touchdown would. You can't hide from us. We know you tuned in to The Good Wife instead of  Sunday Night Football all season. And really, that is totally fine. But I'd rather you sit at the party and talk to your fellow Desperate Housewives fanatics. Or you can watch the game, and ask questions like, "Why doesn't anybody pick the ball up?" after an incompletion. Just don't put in an effort to appear like you know more than those who actually know how these teams got here.


Beyond this, I'm not a big lover of how the whole game is shown on TV. The announcing is dumbed down to better access those viewers who do not regularly watch football broadcasts, which frustrates those who do. The halftime show is ridiculously over-the-top and over-hyped. The Black Eyed Peas just shouldn't be a part of that (though I still love them to death). The Who are a) old and b) not even American. May I suggest the MLS final? Madonna and LMFAO are not compatible (though Madonna was great. Check out Henno's latest post). The selection committee needs to clean house.

Look, the Super Bowl is a great tradition. It bleeds Americana. I saw a projection earlier yesterday that 1 1/4 billion chicken wings would be eaten in this country last night. What's more American than that? My problem is that the football aspect of the event, the actual reason why the commercials and the prodigious amount of wing and alcohol consumption are made possible, is shoved aside to an extent in order to reach the most possible viewers. As a diehard football fan, it's a tad aggravating. This kind of thing doesn't happen at Wimbledon or the NBA Finals. Just the Super Bowl. Is it still a good time? Yeah. Absolutely. But for pure football, the Super Bowl isn't as great as it should be. The game itself could be thrilling, and it often is. This is not a critique of the game itself, but more how it is covered, and the atmosphere I tend to find myself in while watching it.

This year, though, it was worse.

Man, I hated this year's Super Bowl. Hated. Loathed. Abhorred. Why? It took me a little bit to figure that out for myself.

What could have been.
Courtesy of LA Times.

First of all, I was not intrigued by the matchup. I would have loved a Harbaugh-Harbaugh game. I would have appreciated a Patriots-49ers game because it would have been a premier '90's franchise squaring off against their '00's contemporaries, battling for the chance to continue those legacies into a new decade. When it came down to it, I was a bit turned off because I did not totally believe that either the Patriots or Giants deserved to play for the Lombardi Trophy. Well, maybe they did, but it was based on their ability to not make mistakes at the end of games, not on making big plays, which is something not many fans like to see. The Pats and Giants have had their share of glory in the past few years already. I would have preferred a changing of the guard. Then again, they're the ones that didn't blow it. Still, the Ravens showed that they were the better team two weeks ago; I don't know all that many people that would disagree with me on that point. The 9ers were definitely the most deserving team in the playoffs. Jim Harbaugh did an absolutely stunning job at turning around the team's fortunes in his first year as head coach, and Alex Smith, the former bust of a No. 1 overall pick, really picked it up and gave San Francisco what should have been enough for a title run. And, of course, that defense. The teams that squared off yesterday got there not through their own play, but by the mistakes of their opponents two weeks ago. Of course, those teams are to blame for those mishaps, but the fact remains that many who tuned in to the conference championship games were left with a sour taste in their mouths. If you'd like to read further into the poor matchup of this year's big game, El Fuser's got you covered.

The game itself really wasn't bad. The end was exciting, for sure. That Mario Manningham catch will certainly go down as one of the better Super Bowl moments. The contest was close throughout, and sustained a decent amount of intensity. I was pretty much happy with the result, as I am tired of Boston teams winning more than their share (as you can read later). It did not compare to the last time these teams met on Super Bowl Sunday, but it was a worthy sequel. I could probably count four or five more memorable games, but I was not left disappointed. Congratulations to the New York Giants, winners after a memorable playoff run.

So if not for the game itself, why did I so despise the Super Bowl this year?

Well, just to get it out of the way, I have to mention the commercials. The GoDaddy spot was worse than plain old bad; it was degrading to women in general. I guess they're used to doing that by now. The Coke campaign was pretty unoriginal. There was a lot of recycled material from years past. That Clint Eastwood Chrysler one was powerful, but a little too similar to the Detroit-pushing ads from last year. I recount laughing at just two ads this year. First, the "Happy Grad" Chevy one was hysterical. As a big Seinfeld fan, I loved the Acura NSX commercial as well. Other than that, however, the wells really ran dry for me. Still, that was only a minor factor in why I disliked last night's game.

That conclusion came not before or even during the game, but after the final whistle was blown. I watched the entire spectacle in my friend's dorm room, which is right next to mine. Many others were gathered in another room across the hall, but I determined not to venture over there in fear of seeing some of the "fans" (see paragraph 2) that have so plagued me in past years. As soon as the game ended, I heard crashing sounds outside. I opened the door and gazed upon an embarrassing sight; much-maligned Patriots fans throwing all perishable objects against the walls and out the window. And I mean all. Beer bottles and cans. Candles. The works. What was left was a floor riddled with glass, creating a quandary as to how my bare feet were going to maneuver their way back to my room.

Something similar to the work of my esteemed hall mates.
Courtesy of BBC News.

What was the purpose of these destructive shenanigans? Were they the understandable acts of tortured rage that naturally accompany a devastating loss? Nope. They were childish and belittling pleas for attention. These people were angry, and more than that, they wanted everyone to know it. They required everyone in the hall to be fully aware of how mad they were that a Boston team was robbed of an eighth championship team in a major sport in eleven years. God, that must be just crushing. Hailing from Washington, D.C., I have yet to taste any such victory in my lifetime.

These guys are nice people. They are genuinely friendly people. But when it comes to sports, watch out. These are prime examples of the very worst type of fan, the one who must make whatever emotions he has regarding his teams clear to everyone within shouting distance. The guy who just has to be heard. He will yell, scream, and embark on a spree of utter destruction, basically regardless of the result of the game. I have no doubt that a similar crime scene would have been present had the Patriots won (and, to be fair, the many Giants fans who also populate my dorm would have contributed).

The violence, in itself, is not really the problem. I think a healthy dose of object-chucking may be just what the doctor ordered sometimes. But when you've got strangers or people you barely know watching, and especially when their presence is why you do it, it ceases to be okay. Do it alone, or do it with some equally-crushed friends. And for God's sake, clean it up.

These people, at least in these moments, are not true fans. And I'll tell you why. In that moment of agony, a real follower, one who pours their heart into a team that has just barely failed to grasp victory, should not care about what others think of him. If it were me, I would lie on the floor and cry. I may have thrown some things in the confines of my own room. But I certainly would not leave Delio (our supremely tolerant cleaning man) with a floor full of glass to pick up in the morning. I think I would be too emotionally drained to even think at all, let alone consider what others' opinions of me are. But again, how would I know? None of my teams have gotten close enough for me to feel this.

"'Sup bros?" My emotional capacity is
off  the charts! Let's show it by
destroying  the very city we live in!
Courtesy of Macleans.ca

I have a hard time considering these people to truly love their teams when their primary focus after a torturing loss is to garner attention and, to a point, notoriety. These actions were egotistical, idiotic, and counter-productive. They proved that they cared more about their image than the team they root for, more about ensuring that everyone is aware of their love of, in this case, the Patriots, than their actual love of the Patriots. It's the makings of a riot. Riots, like this unfortunate episode, are the epitome of selfishness. There is passion, but it manifests itself in all the wrong ways, for all the wrong reasons.

The Redskins won just five games this year. But my friends and I hold our heads high and take all the back-handed jokes and insults that accompany a perennially mismanaged and bad team. We don't react to a loss by acting like human tornadoes. Not in public, at least.

 I'll point out that this was an isolated incident that should not imply a trend among all Boston sports fans. This was merely my example. These kinds of enthusiasts can be found everywhere. Certainly it can apply in Washington. It's an epidemic. For the sake of good fans everywhere, they must be called out. The "silent majority", as Dick Nixon would call them, needs to pull the others back into line.

I hated this year's Super Bowl, first and foremost, because its aftermath reminded me why I sometimes hate sports. These kinds of people bring everything down. Dealing with defeat can be dealt with in innumerable ways, almost all of which make total sense. As for me, I deal with the constant pain that follows a Washington sports fanatic throughout their entire life in a more lonely manner. I brood, sit, and sometimes cry, usually alone or with a few other mourners. That's one tactic, of dozens of other effective methods. Throwing things out the window is not the way. I'll take the Desperate Housewives and The Good Wife enthusiasts any day of the week over these fools. Perhaps destruction is a way of showing which team you support, but more than that, it reveals the fact that you love yourself and how you are perceived more. And when that is the case, in my book, you're no fan at all. Sports become an excuse to let people know just how awesome needy you are.

Now here's hoping these guys don't kill me in my sleep in broad daylight, for the world to see.