Flying Solo: The Art of the Steven Glansberg

Steven Glansberg. What can you say? A hero to many, a loner to some, and both to nearly everyone else. Steven Glansberg certainly has given me the confidence to do activities on my own, and I hope I can carry on his message to you. I have had a lot of time to myself this semester at home, and I now will give you some activities to do on your own.



Going out to eat:

Shooter!

Going out to eat alone can be risky, which is why the restaurant you choose makes all the difference. I have tried this twice now, and I had polar opposite results. The first time I went out to eat by myself, I went to a small Thai restaurant. There were only a few other people eating, so when I requested a party of one, sat down and pulled out my magazine, there were only a few quick glances at me. The awkwardness level was brought down even more when my waitress was extremely nice. The best part of this whole excursion though, was the fact that I could hear everybody's conversation in the restaurant. It was some of the best people watching/eavesdropping I have ever done.  The food was delicious, and I was able to really focus on it, instead of attempting the challenge that has plagued humanity for years: eating while maintaining conversation. I had such a good experience the first time, I decided to do it again. This time, with a little more confidence and pep in my step, I went somewhere more crowded. Not a good idea. This time, as I was being led to my table, it felt like every single person turned and looked at me in slow motion, like the cute girl in a teen movie, but not in a good way. By the time I sat down, bullets of sweat were covering my face. My favorite part of eating alone was also gone because the place was too loud to hear individual conversations. It only got worse when the waiter came by and asked, "so will it just be one this evening?" At this point, I threw in the towel. I responded to the waiter, "You know what, my girlfriend is running really late, I think we're just gonna go somewhere else." I got out of there faster than Shooter McGavin escaping with the coveted gold jacket. So, as far as eating alone goes, I highly recommend it if you can find a nice quiet spot, but if a crowded joint is the only option, stick to your Kid's Cuisine.

Going to a movie:

Attending a movie alone is awesome. First of all, I never understood why movies became, "social events" in the first place, let alone an option for a first or second date.  You sit in silence for two hours as you awkwardly try to get as much popcorn as you can without looking like a pig. And if you do talk, you're that guy who always talks during movies. When you go alone though, it is quite a freeing experience. I walked into the theater with my popcorn and soda, and was a little intimidated that everyone else in the theater was with their significant other. But once I sat down, I realized what a great decision I had made. I was able to kick my feet up, eat all the popcorn I wanted, and enjoy the film. After the movie, I could formulate my own opinion on it, without being influenced by what other people thought. Next time there is a movie in theaters that you want to see, but no one else does, go to it alone, you'll be happy you did (and if that movie is Ghost Rider 3D, I will go with you.)

You sure you don't want me to bring you a magazine?

Sporting event:

I must admit, I had high hopes for going to a game by myself, but this was easily the most disappointing thing I did alone.You really do need someone to talk to during a sporting event. Whether it is someone who can analyze the game with you, make funny comments about the people sitting near you, or just usual banter, it is necessary. And those eyes on you from all directions are worse when you feel like it's a stadium full of them. I can't make a true judgement though, because I didn't rock the Bartman headphones. Listening to the radio call of the game would make it better, but those eyes would be so much more piercing.

The actual Steven Glansberg

That's right. I accomplished the Steven Glansberg. I ate dessert by myself. After eating a nice lunch at the delicious Byblos Deli, I ventured over to Yogi Berry, where I got a nice treat on my own. Not only did I enjoy watching all kinds of different people enter the store, spill, and cause quite a hassle for the people working there, but I also felt that I had made Steven proud. Up until that moment, I had been but a mere follower of his ways, but after completing the true Steven Glansberg test, I felt as though he had chosen me to send his message out for all to hear.