Whine or lose

Poor Cleveland

As a Washington D.C. sports fan my guard is always up.  I didn’t think there was any possibility that the Capitals would pull out a game seven on the road against the defending champion Bruins; based on the Capitals' recent history in the playoffs and more importantly the recent history of D.C. sports as a whole, the notion that the Caps might win (in overtime no less!) wasn’t even conceivable.  For my generation of Washingtonians, we are a city of sports failures.  Strangely enough, these failures have given me a certain type of traction among friends in sports conversations.

If a friend is talking with me about the struggles of being a sports fan from _____________ (insert city), I can usually end the conversation by bringing up the Capitals’ playoff shortcomings, the Wizards’ futility, or the Redskins’ idiocy -- usually the Redskin’s idiocy.  Unless they’re from Cleveland, or Minnesota, or Buffalo, or some other city whose recent sports history is more depressing than Washington’s, which seems silly to me. Just because my city's dearth of a championship has lasted longer than yours (of which half the time I wasn't conscious of what sports were), I can discredit any anguish you have.  And recently I’ve noticed that people are complaining more and more about their team or city’s inability to win a championship.  The trend here is probably that I am just now noticing these complaints, not that people are actually complaining more -- confirmation bias whadup.  But nonetheless, these complaints certainly exist and often convey a feeling of self-pity.  This annoys me.  I occasionally engage in this wallowing of misery too, which annoys me even more.

Commiserating an especially excruciating loss with fellow fans obviously has its benefits, so I’m not trying to say that if you are sad about your team’s loss then you’re inherently annoying me.  But being a sports fan is silly and insane. Sure, it’s relieving to know that there are other people who put just as much time and energy into following a team as you do; finding communal ground with friends is the best part of sports even at the worst times and shared sorrow is only half a sorrow in the company of others.  But with all that said, losing is part of the game and you know what you’re getting into each offseason when you carefully track offseason moves on your laptop.  The chances of witnessing a championship each year are pretty low, but fans still expect every year to be the year.

After an extended stretch of failures, some fans begin to wear their team’s devastating losses like badges on their sleeve.  If you are a Cleveland who is older than 30 and still alive then you probably have the full set of pins, including “The Drive,” “The Shot,” and “The Decision”.  Boston fans can sometimes be seen donning the three-piece “Fucking” set that includes Bucky Fucking Dent, Aaron Fucking Boone, and Robert Fucking Andino.  I’m actually convinced there are some Red Sox fans out there who were a little disappointed when “The Curse” was lifted, looking at you Dan Shaugnessy.

Assigning severity to one's suffering is meaningless, more so sometimes in real life than in sports, but still.  So I encourage you to join me in my quest to stop feeling sorry for everyone if their city has never won a championship.  If you don't, fine, just know that whine or lose, you're getting no sympathy from me.